[frida/yo]

in my diary, i find that i write much like frida kahlo did in hers. it is a streaming record of random abstract theories, seemingly connected, though difficult to grasp or maintain. philosophies in symbolism. no word goes unchosen, nor any confession spared. riddled with sketches to either calm my burrowing mind or to better illustrate my thoughts, each page is scrawled upon with haste and determination in equal measure. the difference is that she is a genius while i humbly pad about.

an excerpt:

"agua desde el cielo. humedad de ti. ondas en tus manos.

materia en mis ojos. calma, violencia de ser. de uno,

que son dos, sin querer aislarse. planta. lago. ave.

rosa de cuatro vientos. sangre rio arma. sol canto beso. ruina."

(water through to the sky. your humidity. waves in your hands.

material in my eyes. calm, violence of being. of one,

that is two, without desiring to isolate oneself. plant. lake. bird.

rose of four winds. blood river arms. sun song kiss. ruin.)

without a word on the passage, i want to say that i feel my life has run parallel to frida's throughout its course. despite having been born in 1907, she claimed to have been born at the start of the mexican revolution in 1910, gaining life alongside her home country. i was born on september 16, 1988, mexican independence day--the official "birth" of mexico.

she is of mixed race like i am (though she is mexican and alemanian, while i am mexican and dutch-indonesian). her father emigrated from honduras at the age of 19 (my own father emigrated from his home country at the same age). she was a middle child, creatively inclined, spiritually curious, and self-conscious...as i am.

when i visited mexico city during my senior year of high school, my spanish teacher and dear friend, sra. dehbozorgi, brought me to frida's Blue House in coyoacan. i remember the house felt somehow familiar to me. i remember walking through the halls with my expectations being met along the way.

i suppose that i often fantasize about being the reincarnation of some romantic artist of generations past, such as frida kahlo, georgia o'keefe, or artemisia gentileschi.

...and being a mermaid. but such are stories for another day.

with love,

your favorite fish.